Listening Like Your Life Depended On It

You might like Thomas Friedman's columns and books , or not, but he's a very interesting guy. Ian Parker has a profile of Friedman in the November 10, 2008 issue of The New Yorker (synopsis here) which I highly recommend. Here's an excerpt:

In April, 1982, Friedman became the Times bureau chief in Beirut. Two months later, Israel invaded Lebanon. He reported on the invasion, the massacres at the Sabra and Shatila refugee camps, the suicide bombings of the American Embassy and the Marine headquarters. "The biggest survival mechanism, being a Jewish Times correspondent in the Arab world, is listening," Friedman said. "It's a sign of respect, and if you will just listen to people and let them not just vent but say what's on their mind it's amazing what they'll let you say back."

Listening is a sign of respect, and even if your physical survival does not depend on it, the survival of your relationship with that person is always at risk. It's also hard work given our genetically wired short attention span. When you catch your attention drifting, think of Friedman's situation, and refocus on the conversation. You'll not only gain the respect of the speaker, you'll probably learn from what's being said.